Writing 101: Confessions of an Absentee Author

In a perfect world, I would write every word of my books from the proper typing position, in a comfortable room all alone. I would have an endless supply of coffee and Mountain Dew. And I would type on my laptop, watching the story unfold before my very eyes. This is not how I write my books. I’m about to tell you the truth of how I manage to write books while working an 80-workweek. The truth is, I almost never type books on my laptop. These are the confessions of an absentee author.

To Tell the Truth

Last Thursday, I worked for 16 hours straight. I do mean straight. I don’t take breaks to eat, because clearly I haven’t got the time for that nonsense. I eat one-handed and drive the mouse with the other so I can still get some work done. The Wednesday before last Thursday, I worked for almost 14 hours. Every day, I work all day. When I get finished, I want to sleep. It would be ideal if I could just go ahead and crash then and there with the laptop still on top of me. That way, when I wake up I can just get right back to it. But that’s not very practical, because I still have to brush my teeth. So I don’t go immediately to sleep when I finish working. I may have to fold laundry or clean something up. I’ve got to wash my face and floss. And here is where I find the time to write my books. If you can call it that.

Writing 101: Focus

When you want to write a book, it really helps if you’ve got a good vocabulary. You’re going to need something to write on, and I recommend a lightweight laptop with a full-sized keyboard. It’s always useful to have a good imagination, to have the ability to visualize and picture things. But it is absolutely essential that you have one ingredient, or you will never, ever, ever finish that book: focus.

What’s That Over There?

Seriously, the other stuff can be dealt with. You can buy a thesaurus, right? You can learn typing techniques. Heck, there are classes online for free that teach technique. It’s even possible to improve your imagination. The more you use it, the more it works. Focus...that’s something that you either have, or don’t. And lately, I don’t have it. Do you?

It’s Really Easy to Hate Nicholas Sparks

Sure, I enjoyed "A Walk to Remember," like everyone else. But by the time "The Best of Me" came to theaters, I was thoroughly disgusted. It's really easy to hate Nicholas Sparks...and I do.

Author, Author

Please, don’t bombard me with emails. I know all of you love “The Notebook,” and yes I have seen the film also. But sometimes, I feel a little bit like Nicholas Sparks is writing the same book over and over. In fact, I’ve noticed that lots of authors are writing the same books over and over.

Writing 101 Redux: It's Very Easy to Over-Use Very

The word very doesn't really lend anything to your writing. In fact, some authors will tell you not to use the word at all. Find out what you should do about very in today's TBT Writing 101. 

This Throwback Thursday post will tell you exactly what to do about very, and where it belongs in your writing.

Writing 101: What Do You Know About Insanity?

At some point, you may want to write a murder mystery, or just insert a murder into your story. You may need to have a character behave in a way that’s inexplicable, or less than normal. You may need to write a character who’s crazy. But what do you know about insanity?

Crazy is as Crazy Does

To simply write a character who is “crazy” is going to feel unsatisfying. Being crazy is a motive for killing someone or running around the street naked and screaming, or doing other things that just plain don’t make sense. But it’s not an explanation, and your readers are going to crave an explanation. How is this character crazy? Why are they insane? Because what you have to remember is this: the character doesn’t know they are insane. To them, everything they are doing makes perfect sense. So before you write it, you have to get inside of their crazy.

Are you ready to make yourself insane? Because if you’re going to write crazy, you need to know it.

Writing 101: You, and Your Writing Environment

I've always said that writers have to know how to tune out the world if they're going to get anything done. You have to know how to write in a noisy room, in crowded rooms in a house with pets running around and people underfoot. Your writing environment may be imperfect, but a writer soldiers on. But it has come to my attention recently that you can learn how to shut out the world, ignore those other people at Starbucks, pretend the phone isn't ringing and stay away from Twitter for one more hour...and still struggle in your writing environment. The most important space you will ever work in is your own head space. And if that space isn't right, nothing will be.

Check Your Head

Every book you will ever write is inside your head. You have to pull it out of your brain, word by word, and sometimes it's painful. Sometimes it's difficult. Sometimes you've got phones ringing and stereos blasting and cats screeching. And sometimes, you won't. You could have a perfectly silent room with blank walls and a big desk to write behind with no distractions whatsoever, and you can still be unable to pull those words out of your brain. Because sometimes, it's your own head that's too noisy, and cramped,and cluttered...and messy. This is the writing environment you need to control. And of course, it's the hardest one you'll ever have to control. 

Why You Can’t Be Margaret Mitchell Anymore

I always thought that Margaret Mitchell had a pretty sweet gig. Raised in the south, like another author we know, Margaret Mitchell wrote about the stories that she heard growing up. She wrote "Gone With the Wind," and that turned out to be the only book she needed to write. Margaret Mitchell never wrote another one. But I can't be her, and neither can you. Authors can't just write one book anymore. And if Margaret Mitchell was around today, she wouldn't be able to, either.

One Book Wonders

Lots of authors actually do write just one book, but you don't know who those people are. Most of them don't spend the rest of their lives reading fan mail and turning down interview requests. For the most part, authors who write just one book simply fade away. A rare few are remembered...or at least, they were.

Writing 101 Redux: Book Pricing

Lots of indie authors are great at writing blurbs and creating attractive book pages, but when it comes to pricing things get tricky. For people whose strength lie in words, numbers can get frightening. 

Visit this week's Throwback Thursday Writing 101, and find out what you need to know about pricing your ebooks.