Writing 101: What It's Like

People want to know what it's like to be a wordsmith by trade. My answer? It's a war. And if you want to be a writer, you'd better be prepared to be a soldier. 

Behind Enemy Lines

"Oh, really? That sounds interesting!"

This is invariably the response I get when I tell people that I'm a writer. I can tell you, with no humility whatsoever, that it is not. There is nothing at all interesting about me sitting in front of a screen for up to 12 hours at a time. I am told I often make faces, and I'm completely incapable of hearing anyone who speaks to me while I'm in the middle of typing something. So basically it's me pulling faces, grunting, ignoring people. Interested yet? 

Second Time Aroud: The Odyssey

Some stories are so ancient and so popular, they don't just come back once. Some of them keep coming back through the years, sometimes in the same medium and sometimes in brand-new ones. Homer's The Odyssey is required reading for many, considered to be a can't-miss by some...and literally older than Christianity itself. 

The Original

Scholars believe The Odyssey was written by Homer, somewhere in the Greek coastal region of Anatolia, perhaps near the end of the 8th century BC. It's so old, it's hard to know exactly where or when it came from, but it seems to be a continuation of the story Homer began in The Iliad. It's an epic poem, a form of writing that used to be popular many years ago, and it's been read by a great many people who attended school...because they're made to do so.

The story revolves around Odysseus, who is trying to return to his home at the end of the Trojan War, which has lasted for 10 years. He has been fighting in the war for a decade, and his journey home has taken him 10 more years. In his absence, his wife Penelope believes him dead and is contending with several suitors who are vying for her hand.

The gods on Mount Olympus are interested in him, and attempt to help his family learn the truth that he is still alive and seeking them. Much happens here, but it's all quite convoluted and involves the journey of Odysseus's son.

Odysseus, meanwhile, has been trapped by the witch Calypso. She's in love with him, but he's not that into her. It's not until Hermes, messenger of the gods, arrives to persuade her that she releases him. Odysseus escapes in a raft, but the sea god Poseidon discovers his escape and wrecks the small craft. Odysseus swims alone, naked, to the island of Sherie. He finds help thanks to a girl named Nausicaa. During dinner, the famous tale of the Trojan Horse is told, and Odysseus admits his real identity and his leading part in this well-known ploy. 

A long telling of his various adventures follows, including the incident where the witch Circe turns most of his men into pigs. He avoided the deadly sirens by having his men lash him to the mast of his ship, so he could hear their song but would not drown himself in the sea in trying to reach them. His ship was wrecked when his men offend Zeus, and eventually he fell into Calypso's hands.

His tragic tale convinces his newfound friends to help him get home. They take him at night to a harbor on Ithaca, where he disguises himself as a beggar to spy upon his own household. His son arrives back home, but of course does not recognize his father (because he's only 20, and Odysseus has been gone 20 years). Odysseus is eventually found out by a maid who recognizes a scar upon his foot, but he swears her to secrecy so he can continue spying upon his wife, Penelope, and her many suitors.

At a competition among all the suitors the next day, Odysseus wins. He celebrates by killing all of the suitors, hanging 12 of his household maids and mutilating a man who once mocked him. The land at peace, the couple reunited, the story ends...but not for long.

Centuries later, other writers would take Homer's well-known story and re-write it in their own way.

The Remake

Famed Irish author James Joyce tackled the same subject matter in his famous work, Ulysses. First published in entirety in 1922, this book details the story of Leopold Bloom through the city of Dublin. Though it sounds far-removed from the shores of Ithaca, the story very closely parallels The Odyssey, something Joyce intended when he wrote it. His hope for the book was that it would become "immortal."

And it is. 

Told in 18 parts, or episodes, Ulysses is very humorous, stuffed with puns, parodies and unique writing techniques that make Joyce a hot subject of study even today. It's considered, to this day, to be one of the best English-language novels ever written. Each one of the episodes of the books corresponds to something from The Odyssey, but it takes place in what was then-modern Ireland and uses recognizable names, like Stephen and Haines. It's laid out precisely to follow Homer's epic poem, and each episode is given a title that corresponds to a character or event in the original. The hero Leopold does quite normal things, like go to the pub to have a sandwich and wine, and visits the museum to look at statues of Greek goddesses.

At the end of the story, Leopold (Odysseus) and Molly (Penelope) are together and she remembers the day he originally proposed to her.

The Third Time Around? 

The 1920s happened a long time ago, and the world has changed again and again. The Odyssey isn't a tale that can appear in just one century, or two. It's appeared in fiction books much more recently as Cold Mountain. 

The story itself takes place during the American Civil War, but it was written only 15 years ago. This time, the hero is Confederate deserter W.P. Inman, who is wounded and sick of war. He attempts for months to return to Ada Monroe, his lady love. The book tells both their stories through alternating chapters. Though the two hardly knew each other before the war, Ada is Inman's driving ambition as he struggles to get back home to Cold Mountain. Throughout the book, Homer-style, flashbacks of their past are shown to the reader.

Like Odysseus, Inman must face many perils. He overcomes terrible weather (which might have been sent by Poseidon), starvation, harassment and dangerous people who know no laws. Like Odysseus, he is helped at intervals by strangers and eventually does find his way back to Ada's side. The book was turned into a movie starring Jude Law, Renee Zellweger and Nicole Kidman. You can see another version of the The Odyssey on film thanks to O Brother, Where Art Thou?, which is admittedly somewhat loosely based on the original epic poem.

Second Time Around: The Gospel of St. Luke

A while back, I blogged about a novel that's based on one of the books from the Old Testament. It's only fair to give equal space to a novel that's based on one of the books of the New Testament -- one of the most well-known and beloved, in fact.

The Original 

The Gospel of St. Luke, often titled simply Luke in the New Testament, details the life and times of Jesus Christ. No matter what you happen to believe, you're familiar with the unusual story surrounding his birth: a young, virginal girl is visited by an angel. The angel tells her that she will bear a Messiah, the son of God Himself, through immaculate conception.

Mary, the young girl who is chosen for this task, faces censure and trouble. Her husband, Joseph, proves to be an understanding man. He takes his wife away to have her baby, which they'll raise together, and the infant is born in a manger because they can find no shelter at he inn.

More than two thousand years later, this event is still celebrated around the world as the holiday of Christmas, the birth of Christ. It's celebrated on December 25 annually, though many scholars agree that if Jesus was an actual person he was most likely born in the summer time. Whether or not you celebrate it, you're familiar with the original story. You probably don't know much about the much more modern remake.

The Remake

It's bold to re-make a story that's two thousand years old. To re-tell a story that billions of people are familiar with...that's downright crazy. But this is what John Case does in The Genesis Code.

The book stars, appropriately, in a small church in a little Italian town. A parish priest is going about his usual day, but his whole world changes when he takes the confession of a world-famous physician. The priest immediately makes the journey to Rome...to Vatican City.

Over in America, an entrepreneur named Joe Lassister is about to have his world shattered, too. The head of a successful investigative firm, Joe receives a middle-of-the-night phone call to tell him that his only sister and his nephew are both dead due to a tragic house fire. An as-yet-unidentified man was also involved in the tragedy, suffering tramatic burns while trying to escape the scene. Joe knows something is wrong immediately, and begins to use all his considerable resources to unravel the strange mystery.

Joe soon discovers that his sister Kathy and nephew Brandon aren't the first mother and son to die in tragic house fires recently. He begins working backward until he discovers the clinic where Kathy was treated for infertility and artificial insemination, and learns that every other woman treated at the clinic has perished.

Every other woman...except for one. Joe attempts to track down the sole survivor and her child, a quest that's complicated by the fact that the former patient is also a former celebrity. Once an up-and-coming Hollywood actress, the patient has dropped out of the public eye and into deep cover. Joe at lasts locates the woman, who is calling herself Marie, after an exhaustive search.

He has no way of knowing that, one the other side of the world, the Vatican is already buzzing with things Joe hasn't yet begun to understand. There is a small religious sect at work within the walls of the Holy See, and they're protecting some pretty frightening secrets. The man who is still recovering from his terrible burns is actually a hired hitman...and a devout religious fanatic.

How does it all tie into the original book that inspired this modern-day remake/retelling? If I tell you that, I'll give away the best parts of the mystery (and you know how I love mysteries). Suffice it to say that by the final page of the book, you'll definitely understand. The Genesis Code is part re-telling of an old story, but it's thoroughly modern and its story is completely new. It's chilling, it's mysterious, it's well-paced -- it's an all-around great read, whether or not you're a fan of the Bible.

The Second Time Around: Pride and Prejudice

Though it was published way, way back in 1813, Pride and Prejudice is still one of today's most popular books. It's sold more than 20 million copies around the world, and not just because so many English teachers assign it as homework (which is what happened to me). Even though the story was written by an English miss who lived and died on the page nearly 200 years ago, the story resonates strongly with American readers and book lovers around the world....even when it's pushed into England of the twenty-first century.

The Original

 Elizabeth Bennet is the heroine of Pride and Prejudice, and one of the best-loved characters ever penned. She is a product of her times, and as such expected to conduct herself accordingly in all manners of education, morality and marriage. She is the daughter of a country gentleman in a small town outside London, much like the author Jane Austen herself. The excitement begins when an eligible young bachelor moves into nearby Netherfield. He is quickly popular in the neighborhood, unlike his uptight friend Mr. Darcy. Bingley's eye falls on Elizabeth's sister Jane. Darcy doesn't approve of Jane, and makes some nasty comments within Elizabeth's hearing.

She is forced to abide his company when her sister, caught in a rainstorm, falls ill and must stay at Netherfield or several days. Elizabeth arrives at the estate to care for Jane, and frequently finds herself in Mr. Darcy's company. Elizabeth also meets Mr. Wickham, who was a ward of Mr. Darcy's father. He tells her that he was treated poorly at Darcy's hands. This makes Elizabeth dislike Darcy even more, a feeling that's fueled by her growing attraction to Wickham.

When Bingley leaves Netherfield and Elizabeth later learns that Darcy played a part in it, she's even angrier. They bump into each other again in the spring, and Darcy is so overcome to see her again he immediately proposes marriage. Elizabeth tells him off in no uncertain terms. Later, she receives a letter from Darcy that quite reasonably explains all of his actions, including his ill treatment of Wickham. When she sees him again months later at his family home Pemberley, Elizabeth realizes that she's actually quite attracted to Darcy after all. When Darcy (eventually, after everyone else gets their happy ending) sees Elizabeth again, he proposes again and she accepts. 

Pride and Prejudice is a generous novel, and there are many more events that take place within its pages. I cannot hope to capture the flavor of Austen's poetic writing, because I'm not 200 years old. Unlike many readers, I'm not the biggest Austen fan. Honestly, I much prefer the much more comedic re-telling of the tale.

The Modern Version

Helen Fielding wrote her version of Pride and Prejudice in 1996. This time, it was re-titled as Bridget Jones's Diary and put in modern times...but still set in and around London. The heroine, Bridget, is a little older than Elizabeth Bennet, but that's because the age of your average "spinster" has changed in the past two centuries.

Bridget is a thoroughly modern heroine who smokes, drinks and supports herself through work, but like Elizabeth Bennet she's constrained by society's expectations that she ought to marry and have children.

She just doesn't expect to do it with Mark Darcy, a successful and very smug lawyer -- just like the Mr. Darcy of Pride and Prejudice. When Bridget and Mark meet, he insults her by making it obvious he doesn't want to schedule a date with her, much in the same way Mr. Darcy insults Elizabeth at a country gathering.

There is a big difference in narration between the two books. Bridget's story is told through Bridget's eyes, while Elizabeth's story is narrated by a third party. Wickham appears in the new book in the form of Daniel Cleaver, an incredibly handsome and outgoing character who charms Bridget right away. Like Wickham, however, he has only bad things to say about Mark -- and this makes Bridget dislike him even more.

Eventually, of course, the misunderstandings are cleared up and Darcy admits to liking Elizabeth -- sorry, I mean Bridget. The film version of the book is very true to the text, though some of the parallels between the two books are emphasized for the movie.The modern version of the story is completely delightful in print and in film, and it re-introduces a popular story very well. I'm sure Jane Austen, who wrote about a novel she liked in Northanger Abbey, would approve of Bridget Jones's Diary.

The Second Time Around: Biblical Reading

The Holy Bible is the best-selling book of all time...if you use that term loosely. The Bible has probably been printed more than any other book, but it is often given away free and that generates no sales figures. Even if you don't follow the various religions associated with the Bible, you can't deny that it contains a rich tapestry of stories. The imagery is fantastic: sulfur raining from the sky, Lot's wife turning in a pillar of salt, the rainstorm that swallowed the world. It all beautifully lends itself to fiction, and some fantastic books have been written with Biblical themes. One of the best re-tellings of a story in the Bible I've read was written by (who else?) a Catholic priest. 

 

Andrew M. Greeley has written many bestsellers that blend Irish lore and culture, religion, Chicago culture, history and modern-day settings -- not necessarily all in the same book. I've read lots of his works, but one of my favorites is based on a book in the Old Testament.

The Original 

The Bible is thousands of years old, and has been translated and printed for wide audiences for more than 1400 years. It's separated into two Testaments: Old and New, and divided into books with intriguing names like Deuteronomy. Each book is subsequently divided into verses, some longer than others.

And frankly, even the translated version is a monster to read. The language is archaic, the arrangement of words is strange, the themes are hard to understand and the names of places difficult to decipher. It's a nightmare to read the Bible, but there are many, many different versions available that are more readable. Book stores offer teen versions, children's versions, study versions -- every imaginable version of the Bible is out there.

The actual Book of Tobit, also known as the Book of Tobias, is difficult to read. The summed-up story goes something like this: a young man named Tobit has been exiled by his king and blinded by bird droppings. A young woman named Sarah is being plagued by a demon named Asmodeus, who has killed all of her husbands on the wedding night. God sends archangel Raphael to her. The archangel heals Tobit's eyes. Together, Raphael and Tobit travel to Media.

During the journey, Raphael tells Tobit about Sarah, his cousin (and therefore a marriageable female). The archangel tells Tobit how to banish the demon. They are married, Tobit drives the demon away, and everyone enjoys the wedding feast.

The Redux

Of course, in Greeley's hands the story becomes one of romance, a little history...and the Internet. Even better, the angel in the story becomes a woman.

Angel Light is the sequel to Angel Fire, but you don't have to read the first book to enjoy the second. In fact, none of the characters in the first book carry over anyway. This novel introduces us to G. Patrick Tobin, nicknamed Toby, who stands to inherit several million dollars.

But if, and only if he first goes to Ireland, then settles the long-standing Tobin family feud and, in a gesture of peace, marries his eighth cousin, once removed. Trouble is, Toby is a lovably clumsy and absent-minded young man with no real motivation to inherit several million dollars, and most certainly not to get married to an Irish girl he's never met. He's too busy working on his computer program, a search engine which will revolutionize the Internet. 

All the bugs haven't been worked out of the program. When Toby makes some tentative searches in a half-hearted effort to make the journey to Ireland, the computer brings up a strange sort of travel company that's headed by a rather bossy female. Almost against his will, Toby is soon taking passport photos while his travel agent makes all the necessary arrangements -- and then some. The agent ends up taking over everything from his wardrobe to his luggage, and soon Toby's on his way across the ocean.

The travel agent is, of course, the archangel Raphaela. She and Toby chat through his computer during the trip to Galway, Ireland, where Toby begins to change. He finds himself more confident, more natural, and more inclined to being called Patrick. 

When he finally meets the girl he's supposed to marry -- naturally, her name is Sarah -- he's even less excited about the strange quest he's on. She's a drunk, she's insolent, and she's trouble. But the reader eventually finds out she's having trouble because of the demon (who is a person in this version, and not an actual demon). 

Angel Light paints rich pictures of Ireland and Irish culture, and as always Greeley's characters shine with multiple shades of believability. The best part about this modern-day Bible redux is that Greeley acknowledge the source material for the story within the book; Toby and the angel talk about the Book of Tobit. It's all very well done and full of romantic comedy. Angel Light is much easier to read than the Bible, and the updated version of the story is completely delightful.

The Second Time Aroud: Cinderella

Some stories are told and re-told in hundreds of different ways; they're being constantly updated for new generations. Most fairy tales are hundreds of years old, but you can walk into any bookstore and find new versions of those old stories, written with today's kids in mind. Most people can probably name at least a dozen different film adaptations of Cinderella, one of the most popular fairy tales of all time. But some writers find ways to take even the oldest and most popular stories and flip them completely upside-down. The most convenient vehicle for re-telling an ancient story in a brand-new way is to simply change the point of view.

The Original 

Cinderella was first published not by the Brothers Grimm, but by a Frenchman named Charles Perrault. Rumor has it that one castle in France lays claims to being the inspiration for the fairy tale castle in the story, but in truth Cinderella's story is ancient. A story originating in Greece, circa 1st century BC, is credited with being the oldest version of the tale.

In most versions of the classic tale, Cinderella is the victimized stepdaughter whose father unfortunately died after becoming newly wed to a vicious woman with two ugly daughters. By contrast, Cinderella is beautiful and kind and good -- so naturally she's promptly put to work as a maid-of-all-work in the house. She sleeps by the hearth at night, so her name is Cinderella. When the kingdom's prince throws a ball with the express purpose of finding a wife, the two ugly stepsisters and the stepmother happily trip down the road to the castle, nastily keeping Cinderella from attending the event. 

 Her fairy godmother arrives  just when Cinderella gives into despair and cries. The young woman is dressed in a glorious gown and glass slippers, handed into a fancy carriage and thus gets to go to the ball. The prince immediately falls for her, of course, and spends the entire night dancing and chatting with her at the ball. She's so carried away, she's almost late for her midnight deadline. This forces her to run away, leaving behind one of those telltale glass slippers. 

After an epic search for just the right foot is conducted all across the land, Cinderella and her Prince Charming are wed. Naturally, the evil stepsisters and horrible stepmother are punished, and all is at last right with the world.

The Re-Telling

I could write a ton of posts about Gregory Maguire's books, but I'm only going to bring up one: Confessions of an Ugly Stepsister. It's a re-telling of the Cinderella story, but with one important twist: an ugly stepsister is the one narrating the tale. It's an amazing version of the classic tale, and if you haven't read it then you just don't know Cinderella.

The novel largely focuses on the life of Iris, younger daughter to Margarethe. Though she is the youngest in the family, Iris must take on many responsibilities because her sister, Ruth, is somewhat dim-witted, clumsy and apt to wander off on her own. They leave England to go to the Dutch town of Haarlem, North Holland. Their circumstances are not good, but Margarethe is crafty and cunning and soon has herself ensconced within the home of the town's richest resident as a cook/maid.

When she is not helping her mother or minding Ruth, Iris begins to learn painting with a master and his apprentice, Caspar. She is an unattractive child, but Iris has a spark of intelligence that others can see and a core of self-reliance that serves her well. Clara is the breathtakingly beautiful daughter of the Van Der Meer household, the richest in the town. When her mother dies, Margarethe cleverly inserts herself as the mistress of the house and Van Der Meer's new wife -- thus becoming stepmother to Clara. 

Of course there is a ball, and of course there is a prince, but there are lots of events that occur both at the ball and before that are never whispered about in the original tale of Cinderella. There is even some hope that Iris, and not Clara, may land the prince for herself...right up until the moment when the prince actually sees Clara, that is.

Of course you should not expect much of a happy ending -- Iris is, after all, one of the ugly stepsisters -- but Maguire throws in a surprising twist at the end that's really delightful (and you know how much I love twists). Confessions is truly a re-telling, and the story feels new and fresh even if it's a few thousand years old. Don't look for magic or talking mice or any of that mess -- this novel is presented as straightforward fact, and it's certainly written in a way that appeals to adults rather than very young children.

The Second Time Around: Wuthering Heights

In just five minutes, most people can name at least one movie they've seen or book they've read that featured two young lovers who fell under each other's spell despite the fact that their families are mortal enemies. Shakespeare made this sort of ill-fated romance famous in Romeo and Juliet, and now it's a convenient device for any writer who wants to create romantic tension. Certain plots come around again and again, because they're just too good to enjoy just once. But sometimes, authors decide to re-vamp entire books decades after the fact, copying plot lines, characters, setting and circumstance for brand-new audiences. The second time around, I found out I still don't like Wuthering Heights.

The Original

First printed in 1847 and written by Emily Bronte, Wuthering Heights was not an instant success. Emily was but one of the ill-fated Bronte sisters, all of whom were writers and each of which would die young. Her sister Charlotte had published a book the year before, Jane Eyre, and it was a big success in contemporary circles. Anne Bronte released her book, Agnes Grey, in the same year Emily saw her work published.

Both books would overshadow Emily's work for her entire short life, which lasted for a little bit less than one year after Wuthering Heights was first printed. It was not appreciated by critics, and received mixed and very tepid reviews. She did not leave to see her book become the most wildly popular of the three, and an enduring classic that school children are forced to read in English classes the world over. 

It has been adapted for the big screen a whopping 15 times, it's been made into three different operas, it's inspired other authors and poets to write their own original works. And it's been at least two different full-length novels...counting the original, of course.

And boy, it is morose. Wuthering Heights itself is a spooky, strange, sad house on the moor (that's kind of like a swamp, with less water). A moody man storms around the house all day, which seems to be haunted by a woman named Catherine. Once all of this is revealed, the reader is transported back to the life of young Heathcliff, the tale's hero. He falls in love with Catherine, the daughter of the man who took him in when he was a young, homeless boy. There is instant rivalry between Heathcliff and the firstborn son, Hindley. Once the old man dies and Hindley is the master of Wuthering Heights, he decides to take all the long, frustrating years of hatred out on Heathcliff. 

Now that the stage is set, as you can imagine much heartache and tragedy follows. Clearly Catherine cannot marry Heathcliff; she's the daughter of a wealthy man and he's a nobody. She falls in with the rich neighbors, and their equally rich son, while Heathcliff sets out to make his way in the world (i.e. gather a fortune). Nothing works out well for any of these characters, though there may be some hope for their children. 

And if you're not interested in long-winded descriptions about the howling wind of the moor or somewhat archaic-sounding language, you don't have to read Wuthering Heights. You can always read Alice Hoffman's much more modern version instead.

The Re-Vamp

Here on Earth, published in 1997, takes place in Massachusetts (which has weather a bit like what you'll find in England) and mirrors Wuthering Heights quite well considering the 150 year age gap.

The setup is basically the same: wealthy family of means takes in a young orphaned boy, who immediately befriends and loves the daughter of the generous man who adopted him. He is immediately at odds with the man's son, and of course he eventually leaves the family home to go out and make a fortune. March, the story's heroine, finally gets tired of waiting for him and marries the wealthy boy next door. Sound familiar? 

Despite the changed setting, character names and time period, Here on Earth doesn't really diverge from Wuthering Heights until the last half of the book. In this version of the story, Catherine (March) remains alive and she ends up returning to her childhood home...and this time, her Heathcliff is there. He married the daughter of the rich neighbors, just like in Wuthering Heights, and he's still bitter and angry because he didn't get what he wanted. But this time around, he's even more broody and much more evil than Bronte's hero.

Personally, I'm not a fan of the plot or the characters in either version -- it's why I can say with certainty I definitely don't like Wuthering Heights. Broody love just isn't my deal, and I know that for a fact. I gave the book a fair shot twice over, and I am one of the few who is not a Bronte fan. The second time around, Wuthering Heights is still depressing and soaked in tragedy...and somehow, I feel that Emily Bronte would definitely approve.