Books on Film: The Best Christmas Pageant Ever

The Best Christmas Pageant Ever is one of my favorite Christmas stories. I've read the book many, many times. But I balked at featuring this story as a Book on Film...because every adaptation I've seen has been worse than the one before. 

The Book

Barbara Robinson wrote a completely iconic holiday tale when she penned The Best Christmas Pageant Ever. It has all the right themes, a compelling cast of characters and so much humor it's impossible not to laugh the whole way through. 

The story is told through the eyes of someone who isn't exactly a featured player, which is one of the things I find most compelling. You see, The Best Christmas Pageant Ever is actually about the Herdman kids, but we're hearing about this from someone else who is only observing them. That makes me feel more like I'm there, watching it all unfold. It's just the first thing I love about this book. 

The Herdman kids, by the way, are the worst kids in the world. Imogene, Claude, Ralph, Leroy and Ollie are all terrible. Buy little Gladys, the youngest? She's the absolute worst. They're a pack of thieves, and liars, and bullies and just all-around wretched people. Even their cat is evil, a mangy creature so terrible it terrorizes the mailman.

One day the narrator's little brother makes the mistake of telling the Herdman kids that the church offers snacks, so of course they show up and end up being present for the meeting about the Christmas pageant. The church puts it on every year, and every year children from the congregation play every part. 

One church member, usually one of the mothers, is in charge of the production. This year, it's our narrator's mother. Producing the Christmas pageant is a huge responsibility. And for those of you who don't know, a Christmas pageant basically tells the story of the birth of Jesus Christ as told in the Bible. Traditionally, this means you'll see shepherds keeping watch in their fields and noticing a star. You'll see weary Mary and Joseph being turned away at the inn and banished into the stables. You'll see the three wise men arrive with their gifts, and you'll be listening to a choir sing the whole time (the heavenly host). So you can see how important all of this would be, seeing as how the Christmas pageant occurs in front of a group of church-going folk on Christmas Eve. 

That's why it's a huge problem when the Herdmans bully their way into the production, and get all the main roles. Right away it becomes obvious that this is going to be the worst Christmas pageant ever. The Herdmans have never before heard the story of Jesus's birth, and they become fascinated. The religious aspect of this book is not at all oft-putting. In fact, the Herdmans ask some pretty intelligent questions about the Biblical story -- stuff that's funny but also thought-provoking. 

The Herdmans do change the Christmas pageant, invariably, but instead of making it the worst the production actually becomes the very best. It's a sweet story, and really funny, and it's perfect for the holidays. The Best Christmas Pageant Ever is a short read, so you really don't have an excuse not to dive in.

Unless you're afraid you'll want to watch the adaptation afterwards. 

The Movie

It's one of my favorite books, but The Best Christmas Pageant Ever has been freely adapted on stage and I've rarely enjoyed it. I certainly didn't like the TV movie made in 1983. Loretta Swit plays Grace Bradley, who has been put in charge of the church's pageant. Some of the kids are rotated around, to look like more kids, but the story does follow the book pretty faithfully. Some of the dialogue is cut back and the narrator does not seem to be present at all, but this movie exists.

That's about all I can say for it. The adaptation really isn't a memorable one, and the story is much more often seen as a theatrical production. I'm waiting for someone to make a great adaptation of this book. If someone ever does, I'm convinced it will become a holiday classic.

Writing 101: Waiting

People ask me what I do for a living, and I tell them I'm a writer. They always think that's interesting, because these people who are asking don't actually know what it's like. What is it like to be a writer? It's like you're waiting. Every day, every second, you're always waiting for something. You're in suspense all the time, and you're worried half the time and the rest of the time...you're just exhausted. 

Patience Isn't a Virtue (It's a Chore)

You work and you work on a manuscript, until finally you manage to turn it into a book. You read it, admire it, worry about it and obsess over it. Finally, you work up your courage and you start sending out letters to agents and publishers. Or maybe you decide to go it alone, and you format your book so it can be self-published. Your heart races, and your adrenaline pumps and your fingers fly across the keys. Finally you hit that submit button. And then...you wait. 

If you write, you're going to be waiting a lot. Some agents and publishers take weeks to answer you, if they do at all, and if they actually ask you for a sample of your book then you're going to pacing the floors for up to a month or more. And waiting for reviews to come in? I still feel a little anxious every time I check my Amazon pages. Waiting is part of being a writer, and that's difficult for me because I am not a patient person. 

But through the years, I've managed to get used to playing the waiting game in all aspects of my career. Start preparing yourself now to wait after every bit of writing you do and you'll get used to it sooner. Even in the digital age, when you can trade emails with people instead of waiting for an envelope, you're going to have to wait. And unfortunately, a longer wait isn't always a better one. So start waiting now...because if you're serious about being a writer you're going to be doing it for the rest of your life.

Writing 101: Shock Value

A long time ago, people who wanted to sell papers would stand in the streets and shout the headlines. Sounds a bit crazy, sure, but just envision it for a moment. You're on your way to work, head still in a bit of a morning fog, and you hear someone cry "Killer Bees Heading This Way! Read all about it!" You're totally going to stop, right? Like, what's the point of rushing to work if you're going to potentially be fatally attacked by bees? What I'm really trying to share is this: shock value can be used to sell things. 

Boo!

It happens all the time, as a matter of fact. Remember the "your brain on drugs" commercials? How about the anti-texting commercials that make you feel terrible? The sad dog commercials where someone sings a horribly depressing song? Shock value. Certain ads are designed to shock your senses. They want to show you something so frightening, so depressing, so surprising that you react and you remember it. You can use that same technique in order to sell more books. 

Writing 101: We Can All Make Money with Self-Publishing

Being an indie author usually means eating a lot of noodles and salad for dinner, putting in long hours and maintaining a "day job" to boot. But if you aren't making money selling a lot of books, you shouldn't necessarily resign yourself to a life of noble poverty. There are many different ways to earn an income with self-publishing, and you never even have to write a word. 

Money, Money, Money

Self-publishing has been going through a bit of a boom in recent years, and the authors definitely aren't making all the money. As the number of independently-published books has grown, so have the amount of services available to authors. There's a huge market out there for indies. Tap into it, and you can also make money in this newly-rediscovered industry. 

Writing 101: Responding to Reviews

Lots of indie authors who like to give advice will tell you not to respond to reviews when you get them, particularly the negative ones. I'm not one of those authors. Responding to reviews isn't just a good idea -- it's your duty. 

Thank You Cards

When I was little, I had to write thank you cards for everything. Birthday, Christmas, Easter baskets -- I was told to say thanks for it all. I hated it, and swore I would never deal with that nonsense again once I became adult.

And now, I'm going to tell you to do the same thing I hated to do when I was a kid. I want you to write your reviewers, and say thank you. Because you do have to respond, even to the really ugly reviews, and the response is always the same: thank you. 

Books on Film: Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer

 Rudolph is probably the most popular reindeer in Christmas culture. He's the only one with his own song, and it's a pretty popular one, to boot. You can't get through the holiday season without seeing Rudolph's special on TV or hearing his song. But both were actually based on a book. And here's the surprising part: Rudolph isn't even 100 years old yet.

The Book

Rudolph wasn't even a part of Christmas until 1939. The original story was written by Robert L. May, and today his little tale of a red-nose reindeer has become a part of the holiday celebrations around the globe. Pretty heady stuff, right?

Writing 101: Is It Ever Okay to Stop Writing?

You know those websites that feature trite advice from famous authors? I invariably end up focusing on the quotes where the authors say that you have to write every day to really be a writer. I don't do that. Does that mean I'm not a real writer? When is it okay to stop writing, to take a break from creating new books? 

Writer's Block in Rebel's Clothing?

So what if you're not just not feeling your story one day? What if you're just not inspired? Or maybe you're very busy, or sick, and you don't manage to get anything done. Suddenly now you're not a real author? 

I don't think so. Sometimes I don't want to write a thing, not even a tweet, so I don't. Since I spend about 8 to 12 hours a day at my keyboard, I think I have the right to do that. But I also think there's a line to be drawn. 

Writing 101: How Scary is Your Search History?

It’s possible I’ve been flagged as a serial killer.

I’m really not one of those conspiracy theorists who believes the government is secretly behind every major event, but sometimes I do worry about my search engine history. I know that Google keeps track of the stuff I’m looking up, so it feels totally within the realm of possibility that the government may also have this sort of power. The government probably doesn’t have as much money as Google, or anything, but I’m pretty sure they can make Google give them information. 

Getting Weird with Google

And if they can, it’s possible that my name is on somebody’s list somewhere…because I look up extremely strange stuff on Google.

I got to thinking about it the other day when I looked for authors who committed suicide, the same night I was searching for information about electronic toys. I've searched for information about legal proceedings, how to get blood out of leather, Christmas decorations, and Will Ferrell in the same week.