Writing 101: How Scary is Your Search History?

It’s possible I’ve been flagged as a serial killer.

I’m really not one of those conspiracy theorists who believes the government is secretly behind every major event, but sometimes I do worry about my search engine history. I know that Google keeps track of the stuff I’m looking up, so it feels totally within the realm of possibility that the government may also have this sort of power. The government probably doesn’t have as much money as Google, or anything, but I’m pretty sure they can make Google give them information. 

Getting Weird with Google

And if they can, it’s possible that my name is on somebody’s list somewhere…because I look up extremely strange stuff on Google.

I got to thinking about it the other day when I looked for authors who committed suicide, the same night I was searching for information about electronic toys. I've searched for information about legal proceedings, how to get blood out of leather, Christmas decorations, and Will Ferrell in the same week.

Writing 101: Is It Hopeless?

You know those completely delusional singers on American Idol who are the worst of the worst, yet they think they're totally amazing? Have you ever wondered...if that's you? Sometimes questions pop into my mind, and they give me new story ideas. Sometimes they pop into my head and I wonder...is it hopeless? 

Where's Paula Abdul When You Need Her? 

Wouldn't it be great if there was an American Idol for authors? You could go in and read your blurb, maybe the first page of your novel, and Simon Cowell could tell you that you're fantastic and you're going to Hollywood. What for, I don't know. I haven't worked out all the details of the show yet (American Writer), but that's not the point. The point is this: when you're an author, everyone is Simon Cowell.

Emily Dickinson was a recluse who, literally, sat in her room and wrote about death. I'm not just writing that to be colorful. Sylvia Plath achieved a fair amount of success as a poet, wrote a popular novel, and stuck her head in the oven one day. Ernest Hemingway, well-known in his own lifetime, put a shotgun to his own head. Virginia Woolf put rocks in her pockets and walked into the River Ouse. 

Here's what I'm saying: writing is dark sometimes. You have to wallow around in the ugliest part of the human condition, in some cases, really dive into terrible thoughts and emotions. Every good story needs a villain...and it's always you. You're the one who tortures the characters, you're the one who kills them, you're the one who creates it all...and you're the one who will feel all the criticism with terrible keenness.

Writing 101: Reinventing Yourself

You know how they say that once you learn how to ride a bike, you never forget? Writing a book is like that. Once you know how, you can always write another book. That's why when you're an author, reinventing yourself is easy. Well, sort of. My point is this: you can always reinvent yourself. 

Starting Over

When you're an author, you can always start over if need be -- especially if you're going to be an indie. As an indie author, you control everything. You're in charge of your pen name, your social media accounts, all the stuff you put on the Internet and every image you share. And at any point, you can decide to start all over again if you want.

It's not easy to start from scratch, and it will take months and even years for you to build up a fan base from nothing at all. But you're an author, so you know how to build a new character better than anyone.

Books on Film: Christmas with the Kranks

It only takes four words to get me excited about a film: Tim Allen holiday movie. Even if he's not putting on the big red suit, I'm totally there. So I've seen Christmas with the Kranks like 8 times. What I just discovered recently is that it's a story...and it was written by John Grisham!

The Book

To be technical, the book is called Skipping Christmas. The title was changed for film; no one knows why. But in story form, this one's about Luther and Nora Krank. And yes, it was always written as a funny story. It became a bestseller when it was released during the holiday season of 2001.

Writing 101: Writing About the Holidays

The holiday season makes people feel excited for something, anxious and happy. It's a thrilling time, and it's a time when everyone's wallet is a little more open than usual. So writing about the holidays is tempting. After all, doesn't the Hallmark channel need new movies about Christmas every single year? Obviously holiday stories are in demand. So why shouldn't you write about them? 

Don't worry -- I'm going to tell you why. 

My Thanksgiving with YouTube

Let me start by telling you a story, since I am a storyteller. I was planning a pretty big event about three years ago, and I was so into it I was barely sleeping at night. So a few days before Thanksgiving, I found myself cruising forums at 3am. It's not as bad as it sounds -- it was a party-planning forum. And there was a link to a YouTube video, and I'm a sucker for those. 

It ends up being a video diary of this Australian guy who was getting the wrong email. Apparently, he had the same name as an American and he was on the family mailing list in lieu of the correct person. This is how he became aware of an intriguing discussion about Thanksgiving. He read about deviled eggs, and turkey, and stuffing and gravy and all sorts of different back-and-forth. It was fascinating stuff, so much so that he launched a YouTube campaign in order to find this family. 

Writing 101: Self-Publishing as a Stepping Stone

In the main, there are two different types of indie authors (and I'm being broad here, so no one has to send me emails about this). There's the indie authors who self-publish because they've already been on the Merry-Go-Round and now they want to take charge. Then there's the indie authors who self-publish because they're hoping it will lead to something more: a book deal with a major publisher. There's nothing wrong with using self-publishing as a stepping stone. Just make sure you're going about it the right way, or you could step right into the lake. 

Stepping Out

For some authors, self-publishing is merely a stepping stone to another type of publishing -- small press, or mass market maybe. But if that's your end game, start working on achieving that goal right now. As an indie who wants to move on to something else, there are some things you have to focus on: 

Writing 101: Flexibility

In the past few days, I've come to realize that I'm extremely rigid. I tweet at the same times, I eat at the same times. I follow the same schedule every day of the week. Pick a day, pick a time and I can tell you what I'm going to be doing. And then I became frightfully ill over the weekend...and I realized that a little flexibility is always good. I think this can apply to all writers...not just us ill ones.

What Doesn't Bend...

Read through my blog, and it's obvious that I'm in favor of being organized. I believe in sticking to a schedule, writing to-do lists and maintaining regular patterns. But I believe in all that stuff just a little too much. When it becomes an obsession, it becomes a problem. 

It became a huge problem for me when I got sick, because suddenly I couldn't get off the couch long enough to complete my to-do list. I found out, the hard way, that it pays to be flexible because you don't exactly know what's going to happen from one day to the next. When you try to schedule everything, you're going to find yourself in a position of not getting anything done -- at least one day. And that one day can mess up an entire week, or an entire month, if you're as rigid about your schedule as I am. 

And when you're that rigid, you aren't doing yourself any favors as a writer. Creativity needs a little room to breathe. It needs space to play and cavort and have fun. The mind needs to wander. Time should be wasted, at least every once in a while. How else can new ideas come rushing into your mind? How else can new discoveries be made?

 

How else will you rest when you really really need it? There's an old saying that tells us what doesn't bend will break, and I absolutely know this to be true. I'm going to be more flexible, try to take a little bit more time to breathe in-between tasks, and maybe not schedule myself for every available minute of the day. 

All authors need time to relax, or else the creative juices will dry up. So on that note, I'm going back to the couch.

Writing 101: Emotionally Involved

There are probably a few Greek myths about some sculptor who fell deeply in love with his creation, to the point of pure madness. I think every author has experienced this type of insanity at least once. Right now, it's my turn. I made a mistake with my newest book. I became emotionally involved.

Heart of Stone

To be a good writer, you must connect with your characters. You must care about them. You should laugh at funny scenes, cry during sad ones and root for the hero to win the day. You have to pour your heart on the page, bleed over every word, wrest all emotion from your soul and spit it out in whole sentences.

Then, you have to turn it all off. You should absolutely care about the story you tell...but under no circumstances should you feel emotional about the book that results.Walking this tightrope can absolutely drive you insane if you let it.