Writing 101: Make 'Em Laugh

Some of the most memorable stories end told end with tears. Romeo and Juliet is designed to produce tears, and I became hysterical after I watched Terms of Endearment for the first time. Sadness certainly has its place in storytelling. But please, remember to lighten up sometimes. I should crack a smile, at the very least, during the course of your book...but I'd really like to laugh out loud.

Everybody Loves a Clown

Jokes have always had a way of bringing people together. Certain body muscle relax when you laugh, and sharing laughter with another will put you at ease. Ever sat in a crowded movie theater and heard everyone laugh along with you at the same joke? Laughter inspires camraderie. It's the basis for many friendships and even romantic relationships. 

It's great stuff, and that's why you've got to make an attempt to add some humor somewhere to your book. What if you're writing a gritty drama, a serious tragedy, a tear-soaked epic? 

To my way of thinking, that's when you need laughter the most. 

Even tragedies need a little laughter, because nobody can be serious all the time. A joke here and there will alleviate tension. You cannot keep constant pressure on your readers, or they'll break. It's a pretty simple law of physics. If you place a bowling ball on top of a wicker basket and start to press down, that basket will buckle and break if you don't ever relieve the strain. But if you let up every once in a while and let that basket bounce back, you can go right back to applying pressure.

Take a similar approach with your readers. Put the screws to them. Drag them through emotions. Make them cry. But every so often, lighten up. Give them a joke, give them a laugh, give them a bit of a breather -- and then you can go right back to the tension. Your writing will be better for it, and your readers will be far, far more tolerant because of it. 

So make 'em laugh...at least, every once in a while -- and make them keep reading.

Books on Film: Jaws

Jaws became one of the most famous big screen villains, a predator so frightening he has his own theme music. But before he swam onscreen, Jaws lived on the page.

The Book

Peter Benchley wrote Jaws in 1974, and changed horror. He was inspired by real shark attacks to write the book, though it sure didn't hurt that Doubleday asked him to pen the story.

It was so good, it was destined to become a film even before it was finished. Two producers read it before the book was even published, and quickly purchased the film rights. They helped the book become a bestseller. The very next year, in 1975, it became a hit movie. 

Jaws is set in fictional resort town Amity in New York. A young girl is attacked and killed by a shark while on vacation, but its buried by the Mayor and a local newsman so as not to disturb the town's appeal as a tourist destination.

But the killing doesn't stop. A local fisherman disappears after being asked to go kill the shark, an action prompted by the beast's attack on two local residents. The local chief of police, Brody, pulls a huge shark tooth out of the fisherman's boat. It's all that's left of the fisherman (Ben).

We learn that the Mayor is in collusion with the mob to keep the beach open (and the property values high), and the chief's wife has an affair with the fish expert who is brought in, a guy named Hooper. By the way, Jaws has a lot of sub-plots that were cut on film.

The chief decides to take action when the tourist population swells. People are flooding Amity instead of running away, as expected. They're hoping to see the killer shark. Brody hires himself a shark hunter, a guy named Quint. Together with Hooper, the men set out on Quint's ship the Orca to hunt the beast themselves.

It's tense. Brody suspects the affair, Quint is a loose cannon and Hooper seems to enjoy goading Brody. For days they find nothing, see nothing.

But they eventually find the shark, and Hooper dies in an attempt to capture it. Brody is now out of money, but Quint no longer cares. Hunting the shark is all that matters.

He gets his wish, and Jaws dies in a thrilling action scene, but the shark takes Quint with him.

The book was on the bestseller list for 44 weeks. Jaws became part of cinematic history for ever. Later in life, Benchley felt guilty for giving sharks a bad rap and became an activist.

The Movie

Director Steven Speilberg didn't like the characters in the book, and wanted the shark to win. On film, Roy Scheider stars as Brody, Richard Dreyfuss as Hooper and Robert Shaw as Quint the shark hunter.

They had problems making the flick right away. Filming went over budget and past schedule. The mechanical sharks kept breaking, so Speilberg had to get creative. Instead of the shark, there are a lot of shots of the water, backed up by the famous score composed by John Williams. 

It made for a thrillingly terrifying film, and moviegoers responded accordingly. Jaws became the highest-grossing film of its day, and the first summer blockbuster. Three sequels followed, though Benchley and Spielberg were not involved.

Spielberg removed many of the subplots, because he said the shark hunt was his favorite part. He made the characters more likable, got rid of the affair and brought in new writers to rework the script after Benchley turned in three rewrites.

As a result, the film focuses more on the shark than on the people, a deviation from the novel that made Jaws a big screen legend. Spielberg and his fleet of writers took heavy poetic license with the script, but it's hard to complain at the final result. The movie is chilling, action-packed, and it ushered in a new era of glossy big-budget films that we still celebrate today. But purists will note many, many differences when comparing the two.

What Got Adapted? 

The trouble in Brody's relationship with Ellen is obvious early in the novel, when they argue because she's so unhappy with her life with him. In the film, they're amicable with each other. Hooper in the book is a bit of a snobby elitist, an Ivy Leaguer who isn't likable once. Richard Dreyfuss as Hooper is impossible not to like. 

The Mafia subplot is abandoned in entirety, newspaper reporter Harry Meadows is shoved to the fringes of the story, and Brody never tries to strangle Hooper to death on the deck of the Orca. The illegal dolphin bait is exchanged for standard chum on film, and the Orca stays on the oceans for many days and nights (in the book, it returns to dock at night). 

One of the most noticeable differences is Hooper. He dies in the cage on the page, but survives the ordeal on film. Quint's death is changed. In the book he dragged under water when his foot is caught in the harpoon rope. The shark eats him on film. Even the shark dies more dramatically on film, but then it's a visual medium.

Surprisingly, it's the book that's the darker of the two. Spielberg hired comedy writers to lighten up the script and add some jokes in order to balance out the life-and-death struggle that plays out in the story. On paper, Jaws reads like a whole different story altogether. Give it a try after you watch the movie...and think about it next time you go swimming.

Writing 101: Strings Attached

What are you willing to do to get exposure for your book? There are people out there who hope you'll do just about anything. Give them a chance, and they'll use you for their own ends.

But maybe that's only fair...because aren't you using them?

Quid Pro Quo

I'll scratch your back if you scratch mine. This is a well-known expression, so common in fact it's hardly even considered. But let's consider it, shall we?

By definition, a favor is given freely without promise of recompense. Yet many indie authors are asked to give something in return for receiving book reviews. This takes many forms -- some more overt than others.

Tying to get book reviews? Be careful. Sometimes there are strings attached.

• Exchange

The review exchange is a common thing between indies. Review my book and I'll review yours. Some authors openly solicit this arrangement, while others use book blogs.

It's no secret that I dislike exchange agreements. There is a certain obligation to give a good review, and fear of repercussion if you do not. But mostly I hate them because they trap you. You may unknowingly agree to read a book that's offensive or poorly written. You can't back out...not if you want a review.

• Pay Up

You are always expected to provide your books for free to get reviews. But sometimes the reviewer asks for more. Namely, money.

It's happened to me and it'll happen to you, too. You may be asked to pay for reviews. I caution you not to do this. The review may not be fairly written, and even if it is it will always be suspect to readers. Plus, you don't need to spend your money on reviews. Save it for promotion. 

• Promote

There's always a sort of unwritten rule that when a blogger writes you a review, you promote it on all your sites. That means social media, too. It isn't usually part of the agreement, bit it is a standard courtesy. It's also just good marketing...when the review is good,anyway. 

There are always strings attached, though sometimes they're a bit more visible. Use them to create strong ties to the bloggers you like and admire, and develop a relationship. You'll need them again and again.

Writing 101: What Are Your Responsibilities as a YA Author?

Every writer wrestles with themselves. Does that sentence make sense? Is this character relatable? Should I add that cliffhanger? Authors struggle with questions. Now, I'm going to dissect the one that's always on my mind.

Wait...Can I Write That?

I write YA books that feature teenage main characters. As such, I often ask myself what sort of responsibilities I have to my audience.

• Sex: Personally, I'm extremely uncomfortable writing about it. But the reality is, teens do have sex. If you write about it in your YA books, I encourage you to write about safe sex.
• Drugs: Teens also do drugs, sometimes. Many fine books look at this frankly, and there's nothing wrong with that. However, you do a disservice to your readers if you don't show the real consequences of drug abuse. It can be life-threatening. Do not make light of it.
• School: I read this great YA blog, and lately they've been running an ongoing feature about the many cliches in YA books. One of them is teens who don't ever go to school, or even think about it. Your teen characters should be going to school. If they ditch, if they do poorly, they should face repercussions. Don't you when you shirk your responsibilities? 
• Underage drinking: It happens. There are entire movies about teenagers buying alcohol to have parties. But drinking to excess at any age can be dangerous and it can lead to problems (like hangovers, and fatal car accidents). So if you show it in your books, do so three-dimensionally. Always strive to show all sides of a situation; this makes for better writing anyway.

Like it or not, as a YA author you have to be a bit of a role model. You have a responsibility to your audience. I realized this for myself after I exchanged emails with a mom. Her daughter read one of my books and enjoyed it, so the mom read it, too. During the course of our email conversation, she mentioned that her daughter had a habit of adopting weird (potentially unhealthy) dieting habits from the books she reads. Teens pick up on all those little details you write. What if one of them leads them into behavior that they don't even know is bad for them?

You've decided to speak directly to young readers with your stories. When you do so, think carefully about exactly what you're saying to them. You always have a responsibility to your readers as an author, no matter how old they are. Do your best to wear that responsibility well.

Writing 101: When Book Returns Make You Crazy

I spent all of last week maniacally checking my sales and re-thinking every line I ever wrote...because I had two book returns on Monday. Book returns make me crazy. 

Blame

It's been a week since those two book returns sent me into a tailspin, and I can now identify all 9 stages of a condition known as Insanity Due to Incomplete Ereading -- otherwise known as INDIE. 

• Denial: Clearly this is a computer error. My books are amazing. Like anyone would return them on purpose. By tomorrow all of this will be sorted out.
• Obsession: Any day now. All I have to do is watch my sales. Those returns are going to disappear. It's been five minutes -- I better check again.
• Anger: Who needs readers, anyway? You want to return my books? Obviously you're the one with the problem, not me.
• Criticism: Did I use too many metaphors? Is this because of that weird sentence in chapter 4? I knew I shouldn't have used the F word.
• Doubt: I'm a terrible writer. Maybe all these books I sold will get returned. Maybe they never even got read. Maybe I should get into something I'm qualified to do...like eating pie. Will anyone pay me to eat pie?
• Blame: What am I doing? This isn't my fault -- this is because Amazon has a BS return policy. Now I have to suffer because of their crazy window of opportunity.
• Acceptance: Okay, the books got returned. I'm going to sell more...eventually. Does anyone have any pie?
• Blame: I lied. I'm not okay, and this pie isn't helping. This is my fault. I should be a better writer, and then returns wouldn't happen. 

Yes, blame happens at least twice (and sometimes there's a third stage of blaming the reader). But don't end on blame. Complete the cycle, and get yourself to the final stage. 

Shrugging it Off

Returns happen even to the best authors and the most well-written books. Yes, even when the price is very low. Apparently, some people do know the value of a dollar..and they may change their minds about spending it on you.

So just shrug it off. Eat some pie and write some more. You will never please all the readers out there, but here's some good news:

There are always more readers.

Writing 101: Fooling Yourself, Fooling the World, Playing the Fool

April 1 is a day for fools, and that makes it a great day for all writers everywhere. It was Shakespeare who said that all the world's a stage, and the people in it are only players (unless you believe in the Shakespeare authorship controversy, but let's not get into that debate just now). As a writer, you're pretty much always doing one of three things: fooling yourself, fooling the world or playing the fool. So today is really a day for you.

Everybody Plays the Fool

I don't mean that offensively. Remember, I am also a writer -- and a fool. It takes a fool to believe that your own words are so very important, millions will want to read them. Read them, hell. They'll want to own them, to memorize them, to study and repeat them and love them. It takes a fool to scoff at rejection letters, to daydream brand-new worlds into existence...to make oneself vulnerable on the page. So today, be foolish when it comes to your writing. Foolery can be even stronger than bravery.

• Fooling yourself: To even dream about becoming an author, you've got to fool yourself a little. You can't be discouraged by the reality that millions of people have written books, and want to sell millions of copies of them. You can't think about the fact that agents receive thousands of letters a week, and readers are constantly inundated with book promotions. You can't be overwhelmed by the massive task of creating an entire book out of blank pages and your own mind. You've got to fool yourself, and tell yourself that none of this stuff is really that hard and that you can do it. This gives you the necessary stubbornness to forge ahead, and actually get it done.
• Fooling the world: Once you've got yourself fooled that you can become an author, your next task stretches before you: fooling the world. You see, you've got to make them believe it, too. Plenty of authors use self-publishing to create entire careers overnight. They begin writing a blog, publishing books and creating social media profiles online. If they work at it every single day, they'll collect followers and (with luck) book sales. This is what's known as fooling the world, and if you're a huge fool you can be really successful at it. 
• Playing the fool: When you are an author, you are primarily an entertainer. Think about your origins. Once upon a time, writing as we know it didn't exist. But ancient men who painted on cave walls absolutely had a form of storytelling. We know, because we can see the stories unfolding in the images they left behind. Your roots as a storyteller extend back even further than the bards who traveled from castle to castle, telling their stories before live audiences. Today's storytellers entertain in a different way, but make no mistake about it: they entertain. In order to be an entertainer,  you have to be playing the fool some of the time. You might have to be funny, or serious, or thought-provoking, or ridiculous. It's all part of the author package, and always has been. 

So what I'm saying is, if you're an author you've got a little bit of foolishness in you. Let it shine, for today is your day. Fool really means dreamer, and this is what all writers really are.

Writing 101: The Adverb Debate

If you spend any amount of time reading writing tips, you'll be exposed to the adverb debate. Some authors, like Stephen King, say don't use them at all. But are they really that bad?

What's an Adverb?

Before you know if adverbs are evil, it's helpful to figure out what they are. To put it simply, an adverb is any word with the -ly suffix. Mightily, oddly, fervently -- these are adverbs (ugly isn't one; there are exceptions to every rule). Adverbs are a well-used part of speech, and you're very likely to find them in all forms of writing.

So what makes them evil?

The Root of All Bad Writing

Those who dislike adverbs argue that they're cheap. A little too easy, a cop-out that's used in place of real descriptive writing. Instead of saying that Marie's voiced trembled, you write that she spoke fearfully.

Don't think there's anything wrong with that? You aren't alone. Many writers use adverbs happily, myself included. I've made no special effort to add them here, but I have put them in bold for easy identification.

The adverb debate is a losing argument. Writers should use every available word in their arsenals, and not limit themselves when it comes to descriptive text. Writing without adverbs is a difficult challenge, and a silly one.

Writing 101: Feelings of Resentment

It's not easy to admit, even to oneself, but many indie authors experience feelings of resentment...toward each other. 

This Market Ain't Big Enough for the Both of Us

It's really not difficult to see how this might happen. Wouldn't it be a whole lot easier to sell books if there weren't so many books? Wouldn't it be easier to market if there wasn't so many other indie authors marketing? Wouldn't it be nicer if they would just  go away? 

And when you find other indie authors who publish books that get bad reviews and get a reputation for being error-riddled...well, it's sort of easy to start having feelings of resentment. I've resented other authors in the past, and my meanness isn't even limited to indies. I have a practically lifelong obsession with disliking Stephen King, for reasons we don't even have time to get into.

It's completely normal to feel dislike, even some hatred, for the competition. What you have to realize is that other authors, in all forms, are not your competition. They're your colleagues.

Scratch That, We Can Work This Out

Readers read, and writers write. It's an endless cycle, and it means there are plenty of readers to go around. People who read books don't read just one book, they read many. Some readers read several books a week, to the tune of hundreds of books a year. There are always going to be enough readers no matter how many self-published books are out there. Though, naturally, the scales will balance. Well-promoted and well-written books will sell more copies than those that are not promoted and poorly written. 

It's natural to resent other books that seem to be taking readers away, but you have to remind yourself that this isn't the case. Other indie authors can help you take your career further, in fact, because there's a strong sense of community and supportiveness among those who self-publish. Use the indie community, instead of resenting it, and you'll find that you can gain a lot from your fellow authors.