Review: Subterfuge in Heart

I probably wouldn't have found this book, or decided to read it, if the author hadn't contacted me through Twitter. Since Subterfuge in Heart met all my review requirements, I decided to go ahead and agree to review it. I'm pleased to say the decision paid off; this is a wonderfully well-written book. When I review it on Amazon, I'll give it five stars -- but it really deserves six.

   

From the first page, it became clear to me that this book was a cut above the rest. To be perfectly honest, as a writer it made me feel like a bit of a hack. So I decided, quite early, to leave my own literary leanings at the door and look at this book like a reader instead of a writer.

It was impossible not to get swept away in the narrative, anyway. Like Charles Dickens, Tobias Troy begins the story with the birth of the protagonist, immediately introducing the reader to a fascinatingly complicated mind. Our hero is a genius, and his storyteller (Troy) is brilliant. I felt deeply emotional during the first part of the book, reading about the hero and his best friend, David. Their relationship grew more complex, as most relationships do, as they grew up together, and Troy presents the tale beautifully. Throughout part 1 of the story, there is a hint of the fantastical elements that will come in part 2. 

That's when the story takes an amazing turn, and becomes something else entirely. I'm never going to be accused of being a fantasy book lover, but I didn't consider putting the book down for one moment even when everything changed. Part 2 introduces action, deep pathos and vivid scenes that do justice to the majesty of human emotion.

Troy is truly a gifted writer, and his particular use of language creates an enthralling voice. I will read anything he writes.

Writing...and Over-Writing

Words are a beautiful thing. Through them, one can sum up the whole of human existence, explain the mysteries of the universe, invent fascinating settings that have never been seen by any pair of eyes. It's easy to fall in love with words...and it's easy to get carried away when writing them. When you're writing, be careful not to start over-writing.

What is Over-Writing?

Language is rich and full, and English in particular has a mind-numbing collection of words. Certain words are evocative, provocative, offensive, image-inducing...let's face it, words can do it all. But if I use a word like lugubrious instead of gloomy, hardly anyone will know what I'm talking about. I can just as easily use the word invigorating instead of the much lesser-known salubrious. 

Yes, it sounds impressive to use more flowery language, but obviously if you stretch your mind to find really uncommon adjectives you're going to frustrate your readers. Not many readers are going to be willing to keep a companion dictionary nearby just so they can get through a book, particularly one that's a fiction novel (which are, inherently, meant to entertain). The average reading level for adult Americans is 8th grade. So if you start throwing words like mordant and cumbrous around, you're definitely over-writing.

There's another reason you don't want to use it: realism. Over-writing is particularly terrible in dialogue, and you may notice that some writers (myself included) make glaring grammatical errors within dialogue. This is a necessary thing sometimes, because above all you've got to write it the way people talk. Most people are perfectly happy to leave propositions dangling at the end of their sentences, and in order to make your dialogue flow better you might have to write it this way. People don't often say words like turgid and obtuse, so your story might come across as a little silly if you've got characters who are using them. There are some very specific instances where over-done language might be an important aspect of a particular character, and in this case you should definitely flex your literary muscles.

Keep It Simple

Above all, your writing should be readable. I can't be stumbling over gigantic words all the time, backing up and taking a second look to try and figure out what it all means. Always check your writing for readability. Read along with your words, so you can hear how they sound. Even without using a bunch of four-syllable words, it's possible to create stunning scenes and vivid detail using simple, everyday English. It is possible to try too hard when you're writing, and when this happens over-writing is a common result.

Justice Reviewed by a Flock of Readers

"Read it very quickly and quite liked the characters. They were all well written and well developed."

The good folks at the Peacock Flock read Justice recently, and kindly wrote a review. Visit the blog to find out what birds of a feather think of the beginning of the Deck of Lies.

Writing 101: How to Use Apostrophes

Apostrophes are an essential element in punctuation, but so many authors get their placement confused -- or worse, leave them out entirely. A tiny little apostrophe can change the meaning of a sentence entirely, and when a wrong one appears it might just lead readers astray. Always be careful with your apostrophes, and learn how to use them well to make sure your words are getting the point across.

Using Apostrophes, Let Me Count the Ways

Apostrophes serve many extremely important functions in language; certain words could never even exist without them. To understand how to use apostrophes correctly, you've got to understand how, exactly, they're used.

• Missing letters

In certain circumstances, apostrophes can be used to represent missing letters -- this is the case in absolutely every single contraction. Words like can't, don't, you're and all the rest rely upon apostrophes to exist. We get so used to seeing contractions, it's easy to forget what they mean, easy to forget the function of the apostrophe. But without it, you've got two words that sound stiff and formal. In the examples above, without the apostrophes you're working with cannot, do not and you are. The apostrophe takes the place of the letters and spaces that you've eliminated.

It's important, because many writers have used the apostrophe as a device in dialogue. Certain regions of the world have their own specific accents and sayings. For example, no self-respecting southern writer would pen a tome set in the southern US without the word y'all in it. Brits are known for saying i'n'it, a bastardization of isn't it, and in words like this the apostrophe is essential to make the text understandable to readers who might not be familiar with regional speech. Because the apostrophe in y'all takes the place of the missing o and u, you can never write this word as ya'll -- though I've seen this in several situations. It's wrong, and it's truly an insult to apostrophes everywhere (not to mention southerners). When you use contractions for any reason, don't ever forget what the punctuation actually means.

• Possession

Apostrophes don't always represent missing letters; they're also an integral device if you want to show ownership, or possession, of any object (or idea, or person, or what-have-you). For example: This is Jade Varden's blog. Now, the apostrophe clearly shows that the possession (the blog) belongs to Jade Varden (that's me!), and the apostrophe placement is correct.

See what happens when I put it in the wrong place: This is Jade Vardens' blog. When the apostrophe appears after the s, rather than before, it's used to denote plural possession. In the sentence above, the apostrophe suggests that there is more than one Jade Varden (which is no good for anybody, not to mention confusing for all the readers). The only time, and I mean the only time, the apostrophe is placed after the s is to show possession of any object or objects by more than one person. It's used for plural possession, and only then.

• Getting it Wrong

I touched on this problem briefly in a previous post, but it bears repeating because this is a mistake that I see literally every single day. It seems the apostrophe is a little too common and a little too useful, because a ton of writers from the casual to the professional want to shove it into the middle of words where it absolutely doesn't belong. It certainly is a cunning little piece of punctuation, and I love using it as much as the next blogger, but there are times when you're going to have to keep the apostrophe from crashing your party. Otherwise, everyone's going to know you have no idea what you're writing.

Again, and I cannot seem to stress this enough, apostrophes are coupled with the letter s only to show possession. I can have possession of this blog, the words I write, an idea, the pair of glasses I wear when I don't have my contacts in my eyes, my fingernails. I can have possession of all these things because I am a person. Animals may also have possession -- I might say my cat's coat was shiny. The cat is mine, but I'm not in possession of the shiny coat of hair -- my cat is, so that's where the apostrophe goes.

But when I am pluralizing something, because there's more than one of those things, I only need the letter s. For example, my cats have shiny coats. No apostrophe, because I'm already showing possession with the word have. If I eliminate that word, I'll have to bring the apostrophe back to show the possession (otherwise, the reader won't know who has the shiny coats): my cats' shiny coats.... 

When you are simply pluralizing an object, you only need the letter s. Remember that, and don't let a spare apostrophe show up and completely change the meaning of the sentence. By the same token, if you're attempting to show possession and you don't include an apostrophe, you're muddying the reading waters in a different way. Proofread all your apostrophes, and make sure they're only where they're supposed to be, and nowhere they shouldn't.

Review: The Fossegrimen Folly

I was drawn at once to the cover and the blurb for The Fossegrimen Folly, and I actually contacted the author Michael Almich to ask for a review copy (generally it goes the other way around). He was kind enough to send me one, and the time I spent reading it definitely wasn't wasted. I'm very much looking forward to the second book in the series.

I wanted to read a YA novel with a male lead, and I'm pleased to say I picked a good one. Shy is a completely believable kid who's been sent, against his will, to summer camp. He fits his name well; before camp, Shy spends most of his time with his dog or dodging bullies at school. He's upset about his parents splitting up, and not at all looking forward to two months of forced separation from the world he knows. 

At first. Soon, Almich takes Shy (and me!) into a world of magic and mystery. Camp Lac Igam is introduced in spectacular fashion, along with supporting characters like the staunchly loyal Daniel and the laid-back camp counselor Tad. Gust, the oldest and wisest camp employee, is gruff and mysterious, but there are a few moments when true warmth pokes through his crusty exterior. Almich is superb at showing the byplay between characters, and the dialogue flows naturally through every page. Every one of the campers and counselors are unique, with their own distinct personalities, and I loved getting to know them.

Of course, they're just the human characters. Camp Lac Igam is also populated with fey creatures, faeries who remain mostly unseen to most of the people wandering around the camp. Shy stumbles, rather clumsily, into an adventure involving many of the intriguing creatures of the camp. Through the summer, he learns new stories and finds new evidence of the fey, almost always to fantastic results. Almich borrows from Scandinavian lore to create a truly unique fantasy world that's superimposed on the real world, and he blends the two together beautifully through Shy. 

He's already got enough to worry about even without the magical creatures. Shy's nemesis and the resident bully at his school is also at the camp, and much of his adventure is internal. Almich brilliantly leads Shy along on his quest toward self-confidence, and honestly I was just as excited about the end-of-camp games as I was about the faerie treasure (yes, there's treasure!). The good news is that Shy finds true friendship, and not all of the fey variety, during his all-too-short summer at camp. The bad news is that school bullies aren't the only forces of evil he'll have to face. 

A few formatting errors are the only thing that keep this book from being absolutely perfect. It's satisfying, it's exciting, and it's sure to please even non-fantasy fans (and I ought to know, since I'm one of them). At times, the reader does have to suspend belief -- the camp's adults are nothing if not negligent. But I stuck with it, and I'm glad I did. The fey creatures that live around Camp Lac Igam aren't cute or cuddly, they're like nothing I've ever seen in any other book, and I'm pleased I got to know them. 

It's an ideal world, and while it may be a little hard to swallow at times it is a fantastic place to visit. Since such a camp could never possibly exist in the real world, it's nice that at least it does exist in this book.

Almich is a strong writer with a very outside-the-box story to tell. It's certainly a fantasy book, but it's not at all a cookie-cutter tale. Shy is an unlikely hero that everyone's going to root for, and I'll be happy to wave a banner for him while he competes in camp games, refuses to back down to bullies and tries to find a way to live in his two worlds successfully.

Writing 101: The Difference Between Toward and Towards

Are you moving toward success with your writing...or towards it? Make sure your use of grammar in writing isn't untoward, and figure out what your words mean before you use them. That's right: it's time to find the real difference between toward and towards. There's got to be some reason they're two different words...right?

 Toward vs. Towards

In the dictionary, toward means in the direction of. Contrary-wise, towards means toward (seriously, go look it up). Basically, the takeaway from this is that there is no difference whatsoever between the two words.

So which one are you supposed to be using? Either one you like. Both words have the same meaning, and I'm pretty certain the letter s simply showed up at the end of toward in order to confuse writers. The no-s version is actually more common in American English, while towards is more frequently seen in British English. Whichever one you like the best is the one you ought to use. Change 'em up, switch 'em around, use them both with maniacal glee -- you pretty much can't go wrong unless you totally ignore the definition. Usually, the addition of the s changes the meaning of words...but not in this case. Toward and towards just happen to be a strange word pair that know no rules, so feel free to go crazy.

Justice Reviewed, One Page at a Time

"Varden's writing was compelling and left me thoroughly entertained."

Danica Page has kindly reviewed Justice (Deck of Lies, #1) on her blog, Taking it One Page at a Time. Go and read the whole thing before you decide if you want a copy of your own.

Writing 101: How to Properly Write Numbers, Dates, Years and Times

It's time to clear up some confusion. Too many authors are all over the place when it comes to writing numbers, dates, years and times in their books. Find out if there are rules when it comes to writing numbers in fiction, exactly what the rules are, and what authors need to know to keep their work clean, readable, and formatted in a sensible way.

You Are Not Writing for a Newspaper

We all love AP style. It's an industry standard in newspaper writing, online writing and magazine writing of all kinds. It's a college course, and it's a requirement in English classes all over the nation.

It's also incorrect when you're writing a novel. When you're trying to figure out how to properly format your numbers, dates, years and times, the first thing you need to do is set fire to the AP style book. Do not follow these rules when you are writing prose for a novel -- fiction or non. The only time you'll need to know AP style if you write books, in fact, is if you plan to quote a newspaper article that appears in the book (but that's another post).

That said, you're also not writing for your college professor. So don't let me find out that you're using MLA style, either.

When it comes to writing a novel, you're not going to find a single, handy style guide that's going to help you out -- and I'm positive this is from where the trouble stems. Plenty of authors have published plenty of books on the topic, but I'm not about to recommend one of them because I don't own any them. I'm sure they're all wonderful. But when it comes to properly writing numbers, dates, years and times, you don't need an entire book to tell you how to do it. You only need to master a few very simple rules.

Writing Numbers in Novels

That subheading ins't there because I'm trying to be cute with my post. It's a reminder. When you are writing a book, you are writing -- so write it out. That's the first rule of properly formatting your text.

• Write it out

Again, because I can't stress this enough, you're not using AP style. So spell your numbers out in total, unless they're gigantic. Spell out everything above five, everything above nine, and don't forget to format your compound numbers. Whether it's fifty-seven or twenty-one, compound numbers are always written with a dash in-between and both numbers spelled out in full. Spell out large numbers like five million and three thousand. If you're writing a large and complicated number, however, say four thousand one hundred and eighty-four, it's going to read better and look better as 4,184. Always use the number comma in four-digit numerals.

• Fractions

Your fractions should likewise be fully written as compound numbers: Roughly one-half of the students in class were asleep by the time he finished explaining the Cuban Missile Crisis in full, bleak detail. How terrible does it look to write 1/2 instead? Isn't that the ugliest thing you ever saw? Now try reading it in a half-dozen indie books without running outside and screaming your head off. This is what I struggle with.

• Calendar dates

I have to put a lot of dates in my books, because there's a lot of detail about when people were born, when they died, and so on. Writing dates is very tricky, so when you're doing it make sure you're paying attention. My character can be born on January 17, but she can't be born on the 17th of Jan. You shouldn't ever use an abbreviation in your book, unless it's a common acronym (like PETA, or BA for Bachelor of Arts degree). It's not okay to write January as Jan unless you're specifically referencing something that appears in a text or an email (or something similar). It's not okay use 2nd, 11th, or any of the above. Write out second and seventeenth. It's just a few more letters, and it looks 100 percent better. You're writing a book...there's no rush.

• Years

Years should always be expressed as numerals except in very specific circumstances. It's cumbersome to write July 5, nineteen eighty-six, and looks silly. For years, it's always okay to use 1986, even in dialogue. It's also okay to use the year abbreviation in dialogue, for example '86 or '02, but make sure you use the apostrophe. Also, don't use the abbreviation in non-dialogue prose (example: Amber hadn't thought of Tim since '06, the year of the senior prom). Again, you're not in a hurry -- typing that extra digit isn't going to hurt you, and it looks better.

• Decades

Many writers get this wrong -- not just in books, but everywhere I look. In prose, you really should be spelling out your decades (back in the seventies, Mr. Hamm experimented a little too much). But if you've just got to use the numerals, please do so correctly. It's '80s, never ever ever ever 80's. Why? because when an apostrophe precedes the s, you're usually showing possession. Are you saying that the number 80 has ownership of something, or are you referring to it? It's 1980s. It's never going to be 1980's.

• Times

If I'm a character in a book, I might celebrate tea time at four o'clock or even 4 o'clock. I might go out for my date at 8 PM or eight PM, or end up running late and not make it until 8:10 PM. What I'm not going to do is go to my date at eight-oh-five PM, unless I'm doing so inside dialogue. No other formatting is correct for times. If you're using numerals (ex. 8:10 PM), you must always use the colon. You don't have to capitalize PM and AM, though this is the accepted abbreviation. Some writers find the caps a little jarring, so you can switch to the lowercase pm if it really matters to you.

Be Consistent

Most importantly of all, be consistent. Even if you break all the rules above and do your own thing, do it consistently to keep your pages from looking like a hot mess. However you want to write your numbers, dates and times, always do it the same way. Otherwise, you look like you don't know what you're doing, and your readers are going to be confused.